Sorry, it's just. When someone says they wanna talk to you about something, alone, it's never good. It's like your grandma died! Or your dad's moving back in with us! Ooor I think we should see other people! I kinda doubt you're gonna drop one of those bombs on me, but still.
It's--it's not bad news, or anything. And it's okay. Really.
[ she squeezes steph's hand and smiles at her, before leading the way. before long they're alone with the plants, and cass is... trying to figure out how to say this. how to say any of it. she's had plenty of time to think about it, but... actually being here is something else altogether. ]
Stephanie, I... okay, nothing I'm about to say is... meant to push you, I just... [ deep breath, and she glances away for a moment. ]
Losing you, before... destroyed me. And for a long time, I... I didn't know why it hurt that much. Not really. But I... figured it out, a while ago. Maybe I should have known... sooner, I even ran off to see Kon once because you weren't talking to me...
[Stephanie keeps her gaze fixed on Cass because clearly, this is important, whatever it is. As much as she was joking before, she wants to take her friend seriously now.]
I'm still sorry that I didn't tell you. Or even that I didn't tell you sooner. I know I've said that before too and I know it doesn't change things, but I... I really do regret that.
Cass... [she squeezes her hand, giving her a look of concern.] I could never hate you.
[Even when she disappeared from Gotham, the only thing Steph thought about was making her proud. Living up to the name. Still she knows she'll never be as good of a Batgirl as Cass was, though she's realized that she doesn't need to be. Honestly, if anything, there's more reasons for Cassandra to hate her. Or at least it seems so in her mind.]
[ cass glances down from steph's face for a moment, squeezing her hands in return. she can feel her heart pounding, which doesn't help this at all. so, in a rush, and meeting her eye again: ]
[She says in the smallest voice possible. She's not sure what happens next, either her heart starts racing or she feels weirdly relieved. Or both. Can both happen at once? Because this is- it's not bad. It's...
She doesn't know what it is.]
I, um... I care about you a lot, Cass. I love you too. Like, a lot. And I- ... I don't know. I don't know. I know I love you, but I don't know if- and I don't know if I don't...! I'm... I'm sorry. I'm not making any sense, am I? Ugh, so stupid...
[ yeah that's about what she expected. better, in some ways. whatever cass sees underlying the words, it... seems to make her happy. ]
Hey. It's... okay, really, I--know just... [ she's well aware that a confession like that is a big thing to react to. ] You don't... have to say anything right now, okay?
[ she squeezes steph's hands again, in what she hopes is a soothing gesture. ]
Want something to drink? [ you seem a little frazzled, steph. ]
Okay. Yeah. [Deep breaths, Steph. Deep breaths. Why does this feel so much harder than how things were with Tim? Why does she feel... scared?] A drink sounds good. Water, water sounds great.
Okay. [ she nods at that, finally releasing her hands. cass doesn't know what to do to make this better. she wants to just wrap steph up in her arms, but--well. at least for the moment that's part of the problem, isn't it?
the most she feels like she can do is just. let her sort things out one way or another. ] I'll-- be right back with that. All right?
[ her voice comes softly, and she offers her a smile meant to reassure her. once that's done, she turns to start going. ]
[More deep breaths. While Cass is gone, she does some stretches, squats down, maybe does a few kicks, because doing something is way easier than feeling or thinking right now.]
[ she takes her time coming back. cass isn't about to let this mess things up, if she can help it, but... giving steph at least a little bit of breathing room for the moment seems like the approach.
after about ten minutes, cass is back in the gardens, two bottles of water in hand. she offers one to steph with an apologetic smile. ]
[Steph pops the lid off quickly and chugs like half of it. She looks to Cass, about to say something, then decides against it. And then decides to say something else.]
I keep wanting to say sorry and I'm sorry for that too, and... I don't know. But saying sorry a million times also doesn't seem useful so. Yeah. Water's good, though.
No. I--I should be the one apologizing. If anything. But-- [ cass shakes her head. ] I know it's... complicated. And a lot. Really, I just...
[ she's quiet for a moment. despite her insight into what's going on with steph here, she really is beyond scared. ]
I just needed you to know. The rest of it-- [ she waves a hand. as much time as steph needs. really though, with the way she's looking... ]
Do you... want me to take you home? [ then again, maybe hanging around cass right now isn't something steph really wants to deal with. she doesn't know. ] Or I can... call you a car, or--something.
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[She jokes when she's nervous. And yeah, she does joke a lot.]
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[ she rolls with the joke. but cass can see the tension in steph's expression, and she thinks for a moment. ]
Would you feel better if we just... got it over with?
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[She lets out a big sigh.]
Sorry, it's just. When someone says they wanna talk to you about something, alone, it's never good. It's like your grandma died! Or your dad's moving back in with us! Ooor I think we should see other people! I kinda doubt you're gonna drop one of those bombs on me, but still.
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It's... nothing like that. Hopefully. [ she pulls back from the dance, still holding onto her hand. ] Greenhouse should be quiet...?
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[Cass, that isn't helping!]
Yeah... sure. Sorry for ruining the dance.
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[ she squeezes steph's hand and smiles at her, before leading the way. before long they're alone with the plants, and cass is... trying to figure out how to say this. how to say any of it. she's had plenty of time to think about it, but... actually being here is something else altogether. ]
Stephanie, I... okay, nothing I'm about to say is... meant to push you, I just... [ deep breath, and she glances away for a moment. ]
Losing you, before... destroyed me. And for a long time, I... I didn't know why it hurt that much. Not really. But I... figured it out, a while ago. Maybe I should have known... sooner, I even ran off to see Kon once because you weren't talking to me...
[ she's nervous. and there's a lot. ]
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I'm still sorry that I didn't tell you. Or even that I didn't tell you sooner. I know I've said that before too and I know it doesn't change things, but I... I really do regret that.
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You know I don't blame you. But that's--it's not... [ she bites her lip a little, hesitating, even as she clasps steph's other hand. ]
Since you got here, I've been... happier. So much happier. Before, I was... I couldn't move on. I didn't have... closure, I--
[ she presses her mouth into a line. ]
I've been... scared to tell you something. Because I... I don't want to mess this up. I don't want you to... hate me, or...
pretend tim is cass please,
[Even when she disappeared from Gotham, the only thing Steph thought about was making her proud. Living up to the name. Still she knows she'll never be as good of a Batgirl as Cass was, though she's realized that she doesn't need to be. Honestly, if anything, there's more reasons for Cassandra to hate her. Or at least it seems so in her mind.]
What is it? You can tell me anything.
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[ cass glances down from steph's face for a moment, squeezing her hands in return. she can feel her heart pounding, which doesn't help this at all. so, in a rush, and meeting her eye again: ]
I'm in love with you.
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[She says in the smallest voice possible. She's not sure what happens next, either her heart starts racing or she feels weirdly relieved. Or both. Can both happen at once? Because this is- it's not bad. It's...
She doesn't know what it is.]
I, um... I care about you a lot, Cass. I love you too. Like, a lot. And I- ... I don't know. I don't know. I know I love you, but I don't know if- and I don't know if I don't...! I'm... I'm sorry. I'm not making any sense, am I? Ugh, so stupid...
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Hey. It's... okay, really, I--know just... [ she's well aware that a confession like that is a big thing to react to. ] You don't... have to say anything right now, okay?
[ she squeezes steph's hands again, in what she hopes is a soothing gesture. ]
Want something to drink? [ you seem a little frazzled, steph. ]
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the most she feels like she can do is just. let her sort things out one way or another. ] I'll-- be right back with that. All right?
[ her voice comes softly, and she offers her a smile meant to reassure her. once that's done, she turns to start going. ]
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[More deep breaths. While Cass is gone, she does some stretches, squats down, maybe does a few kicks, because doing something is way easier than feeling or thinking right now.]
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after about ten minutes, cass is back in the gardens, two bottles of water in hand. she offers one to steph with an apologetic smile. ]
Here.
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[Steph pops the lid off quickly and chugs like half of it. She looks to Cass, about to say something, then decides against it. And then decides to say something else.]
I keep wanting to say sorry and I'm sorry for that too, and... I don't know. But saying sorry a million times also doesn't seem useful so. Yeah. Water's good, though.
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[ she's quiet for a moment. despite her insight into what's going on with steph here, she really is beyond scared. ]
I just needed you to know. The rest of it-- [ she waves a hand. as much time as steph needs. really though, with the way she's looking... ]
Do you... want me to take you home? [ then again, maybe hanging around cass right now isn't something steph really wants to deal with. she doesn't know. ] Or I can... call you a car, or--something.